Lost
by Tycho
Summary: Summary: A mistake in calculations wasn't the only reason Harry was so desperate to set things right. A "Timeless" story.


DISCLAIMER: Don't worry. Just a little creative outlet for fun and no profit. No copyright infringement intended.  
  
* * * *  
  
Ensign Harry Kim, Operations Officer, eternal optimist and friend to everyone on the ship was in his quarters. Pacing. He never paced. He had no idea when he had started or where he had picked it up from. Probably the Captain.  
  
His shift had finished 15 minutes previously and ordinarily he'd be somewhere else - in the holodeck with Tom, in the mess attempting Neelix's latest creation, keeping Seven company in Astrometrics, on a date - anywhere doing anything other than pacing around his quarters trying to figure out what was in the back of his mind, that niggling little voice that told him that recent events weren't quite right.  
  
So he'd come here to be alone and think . Problem was it didn't seem to be doing much good. He had run the events of the previous day through his mind numerous times but still couldn't put his finger on it. He'd even gone so far as to speak out loud all his conversations again. If he wasn't careful he was going to start talking to himself.  
  
Amazing how one little phrase can set off an epiphany. With that common little phrase about the signs of madness he solved his entire dilemma. Or at least was on the right track.

He sat at the small console in his quarters and made a request. "Computer: call up message file Harry 289 and playback"  
  
After watching the message he still couldn't figure it out. What was it about this message from himself that went so against himself. He watched it again. And again. Halfway through the fourth playing he told it to stop. He sat back and made a study of himself.  
  
"Okay," he thought, "today I just killed everyone who is close to me because I made a stupid mistake. How do I feel?"  
  
Grief  
  
Anger - at self  
  
Self pity?  
  
"Later, I am welcomed back by my parents and the Federation as a hero," he smiled ruefully, "Everything I've always dreamed... Yeah, right. How do I feel know?"  
  
Still grieving - always will.  
  
Homecoming mixed with sorrow  
  
Something else  
  
What?  
  
Loss  
  
Loss of what?  
  
What's missing?  
  
"Missing! That's it! Computer playback time index 141.3 to 143.2 at 1/8 normal speed."  
  
There. On the bench behind him(self). The coupler was there and then suddenly it wasn't. Everything else ran completely smoothly - dialogue, body movement etc. Or did it. Then he saw it. Very few others would have noticed it at all. Only those who were very, very close to him. The slightest tightening of the eyes that hadn't been there before. Or rather not as severely as it was now.  
  
"Computer: has this file been altered in any way?"  
  
"Affirmative"  
  
"Under who's authorization codes?"  
  
"That question cannot be answered. Incorrect Syntax. Please restate request"  
  
Harry was puzzled. "Identify the codes were used to authorize the alterations."  
  
"Raven 20."  
  
Harry blinked. He knew of only one person on board who had any sort of connection to anything to do with ravens. Or more specifically the *Raven*. He was about to slap his commbadge when it signalled.  
  
"Seven to Ensign Kim"  
  
"Kim here. I was just about to..."  
  
"I know of the situation Ensign. Please meet me in Cargo bay 2."  
  
With that the connection terminated. Harry frowned. What was going on?  
  
* * * *  
  
Seven was nervous. She had never been nervous and she did not like it. She did not know how to deal with it. It was like fear. But she could deal with fear using confidence and anger. But nervousness directly attacked confidence and anger just created frustration. So she stood and allowed her stomach to behave as it so desired.  
  
The doors to the cargo bay entered and although she was facing away, using the terminal, she felt the feelings of nervousness increase tenfold. She heard him stop walking somewhere behind her and to her right. She schooled her features into her usual impassive mask and turned to greet him. And faltered.  
  
He was leaning against front of the controls to her regeneration alcove, arms crossed, an expression that could only be described as being non committal, impassive. But his eyes which were usually soft, twinkling with merriment or sorrow, were hard as tritanium. All of a sudden she could not speak. She tried to analyse this reaction she had never found herself unable to express herself, even to the detriment of the crew's opinion of her. But therein lay the problem. It was his opinion that had obviously changed. She did just not realise this yet. After all, she was Borg.  
  
"Seven, I'm waiting for an explanation. Why did you alter my message?" His voice was calm, yet held a subtle undertone.  
  
"I...The Captain has expressed her desire that I conduct myself with more discretion in my relationships with the crew." Yes this was a good start. Nervousness was reducing.  
  
"A good idea. But how does that explain your ....interference?"  
  
"I was uncertain whether or not the Captain would view the message before passing it on to you. I believed that certain parts of it were not intended for her viewing but also believed that it would restore her in your abilities should she see, or at least know of, the remainder. So I altered the message to remove any...irrelevant data but allowed inaccuracies to remain. I was confident in your abilities to recognise them." She frowned, "You did not take as long as I estimated you would."  
  
He looked at her strangely. "You _under_estimated me?" A small smile came to his face, "I don't quite know whether I should feel complimented or insulted."  
  
A quick "Complimented" was heard. Now he was puzzled. This wasn't quite like her. "Perhaps you should show me the rest"  
  
"Agreed" She turned back to the console and punched in the commands to bring up and begin playing the message as he approached and stood close by her side. Close enough for her to swallow. If this case of nerves got any worse she would have to report to sickbay. Although the thought of leaving made it even worse.  
  
The playback started "..owe me one. And one more thing. She is our reason for living and dying. Don't waste this chance, even if it goes wrong. Goodbye Harry. Don't lose Ana"  
  
The screen went black but Harry kept staring at it, trying to make sense of it all. No one knew that once, in the corner of his mind he had called her that after discovering her true name, just to hear how it sounded. He had been attracted to her, but now they were just crewmates, friends. They worked well together. He thought back to the sense of loss he had felt earlier and linked them to last words he had heard played.  
  
He had lost her.  
  
Harry Kim, friend to all, eternal optimist and saviour of Voyager looked up and into a pair of eyes that captured his soul.  
  
She knew.  
  
End.


End file.
